Thursday, July 19, 2012

a letter to Aiden

My dearest Aiden,
I have loved you since the second you were born. I’m so sorry that you had to leave this earth so soon. I will always love you. I will never forget you, I can promise you that.  You have changed my life forever. Even though you were only here for a short period of time, you have touched more lives in one month than most people can in a lifetime. There is so much love for you, even from complete strangers. People looked forward to hearing how you were doing. People from all over the world were praying for you. You have been such an inspiration.  Through you we know that miracles do happen. You are such a strong little boy. You had so much fight in you it was unbelievable.  I am so sorry you had to go through that. No baby should ever have to endure what you went through. But you never gave up. You have taught me to never give up and never lose hope.

I only got to hold you for a short time but in that time, you and me bonded more than any mother and child ever could in a lifetime. I was so honored to give you your first and last bath. It is a memory that I will hold with me forever. You took your last breathes and died in my arms as I snuggled you as close to me as I possibly could. You held onto my finger with your little hand and you squeezed it so tightly.

I never got to rock you sleep, dress you up in cute little outfits or feed you a bottle.  I never even got to see your gorgeous blue eyes or hear you cry.  You have never seen my face but I know that you knew my voice. I never got to sing you a song or read you a book. I wish that I could of seen you kick your legs.

Every time I walk in your room I picture myself putting you to sleep in your crib. Or you cooing to your light projector. I picture you crying and me picking you up and soothing you. When I’m in your room I picture what life could have been like with you here.

I will make sure that Savannah and Sierra  will never forget who you are.  You have been a part of their lives since the day I found out I was pregnant with you. Matter of fact, Sierra was the first person to know that I was pregnant. Your sisters were so excited that they were going to be big sisters. They gave you a hug and a kiss every night while you were in my belly. Even though they never met you, they love you so much.

I’m sorry that you had to be born sick.  I never wanted this for you. I wish that I could of traded places with you. We knew that you were sick before we had you but that didn’t change the fact that we loved you and we wanted to give you life. I know that you were put on this earth for a reason. Now you are an angel looking down on us. I love you and I will see you again one day.

                                                                                           Love Always,


  1. I'm so sorry to hear the news of your sweet dear Aiden. I thought you all so much and kept you deep in my thoughts whenever I would read a new post. I run everyday and even thought of him one day while running deep into the woods. Although I can't reach over and give you a hug...please accept this hug from across the miles all the way from Maryland.

    That was a beautiful letter.

    Much love - Freedom Green a CDH mom to Kylee Green ( 10/4/00 - 10/05/00)

  2. I will accept any hug I can get. Thank you for thinking about us:)

  3. all and baby Aiden have been in our thoughts and prayers before you went in to have him. I was praying for you the day you went in and every day thereafter and still am. I cannot imagine what all of you and baby have been going through..our hearts are with you all..i remember getting the news and me and shyanne and jim were crying and sad all day long...we wish we could be there with you all but it is not possible at this time...we love you all and will continue to pray for comfort and peace and strength thru this time.. love sandi and jim and shyanne and the rest of the crew

  4. Tiffany-Your letter was beautiful. I also live in Indiana....Fort Wayne to be exact and I too had a baby boy named Aiden and spelled the same way. My Aiden went to Heaven on August 23 2011 after a 26 day battle of trying to get off of ECMO. Unfortunately he was not able to come off and we were able to hold our son as he passed into Heaven. If you need anything at all please do not hesitate to reach out. This is an extremely hard road to go down as we are about to celebrate what should have been Aiden's first birthday on July 28th. Prayers go out to you and your family and my family is sending lots of strength your way. By the way what hospital did you deliver at?

    Leslie (mommy to CDH angel Aiden 7/28/11-8/23/12)

  5. Tiffany, What a beatiful letter to your baby boy. Ever since your mom had starting posting about Aiden he has been in my prayers along with all of you. I am sorry that precious baby had to fight so hard but he had you with him, loving him all the way. I know you will make sure his sisters keep him in their hearts and I just want you to know that I will continue to keep your family in my prayers.
    Julie Gallardo

  6. I am in tears reading this letter. I am expecting my CDH warrior to be born in the next 4 weeks and some days scared out of my mind. But this letter makes me feel that no matter what the outcome is we will be a a lot richer for having such babies. Little Aiden you are in a better place!


  7. Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts. It is comforting to know that so many people care.
    Leslie- wow...we have such a similar situation. We live in portage so we delivered at the university of Chicago. The drs were so set on a "time limit" with ECMO so they were going to take him off weather he was ready or not. Unfourtantly he wasn't ready.

  8. Only a mother with a heart overfilled with love for her child could write such a beautiful letter. Tiffany, you are a precious gift to all of us who have witnessed your courage, strength, grace and faith through your blog. Your children are very blessed to have you as their mommy. May the God of all comfort overwhelm you in His arms of mercy.

    The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps. 34:18